why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
