Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize