I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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