that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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