I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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