By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
