You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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