That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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