Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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