im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
