Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
