It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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