ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
