she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Randomize
