halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Even my vagina gasped.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
