and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
