I think my fart just growled at me.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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