I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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