yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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