Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
