Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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