talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize