trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
