Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
You're a waste of cheezeits
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
