i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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