I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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