i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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