Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
