My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize