i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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