I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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