To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
