Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
