Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
It's blow job season.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
