I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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