new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
