You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
now i know why i became what i already was.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
