I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
