I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
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