great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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