I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
