I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
