how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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