You really coming over, don't trick.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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