I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
