Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
