The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Randomize
