I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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