Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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