I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
