I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize