Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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