can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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