Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
My life is pants optional.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
