Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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