question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
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