How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
You pole danced in your parka.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
