just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
