Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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