porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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