nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
