Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
