No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
