Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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