i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
